Living With John Choi

Last night, John Choi made dinner! What? You didn’t know this guy had the same level of appreciation for the culinary arts as he does for footsies? It’s true — John loves food, and every once in a while, he loves to cook it, too. And this is how we have our first ever Living With John Choi Food Review.

So, John actually didn’t cook this for me (he never cooks for us anymore…. ) — he actually cooked this for one of his lady friends that came over for dinner the night before.  After a night of hard drinking, my girlfriend and I attacked the refrigerator like wild dogs and told him to shove it. Here are our thoughts:

Korean Inferno Lasagna:

Taste: 4 Hadoukens out of 5

Roommate: “Despite how it looks, the lasagna was actually really well balanced with the level of sauce, seasoning, and cheese. I never got a sense of overseasoning for one second. He gets dinged one fireball because it could have used a little bit more heat, perhaps in the form of black pepper or cayenne, or maybe crushed red pepper, because, after all, it IS supposed to be the Korean INFERNO Lasagna. I’m going to bitch at him for false advertising. Oh yeah, definitely needs more SANDSTORM.”

Girlfriend: “I found the introduction of fish sauce quite unusual and intriguing (he utilized soy sauce, pepper, salt, and fish sauce to marinate and stir fry the meat.) At first, I was quite taken aback, but after the first bite, I was a believer. The richness of the fish sauce was harmonious with the delicious ground meat. The mushrooms also provided a nice contrast in textures. All in all a fabulous meal.”

Plating Design: 1/2 of a Hadouken out of 5

Roommate: “Are you serious? Just look at the plate. This looks like a level in Splatterhouse. I bet those stupid fucking dogs in Lady and the Tramp got a better, more organized, well planned plating design on their stupid pasta. (That movie was great, though.) I know that this is a leftover plate, but seriously, just looking at makes me think about a tomato diarrheaing all over itself. Still tastes good though.”

Girlfriend: “A monstrosity.”

Originality: 4.5 Hadoukens out of 5

Roommate: “As mentioned above, the fact that he used fish sauce and a variety of asian sauces and spices to spice the meat was interesting, original, yet delicious to eat. I’ll just credit that to him being a big fob azn ricer 2 fast 2 furious boi. Also, I think they did a number with that ricotta cheese inside — mixed with fresh spinach and shit. Way to go for the mixups, John.”

Girlfriend: “I wish there was more to eat.”

Overall: 4 Hadoukens out of 5

All in all, great meal provided by John. Kudos to you. And sorry that we ate your leftovers. We were over-hung, over-sexed (HAH Gross JK) and under-fed at 8am.

EDIT: Oh yeah, one thing I was pretty upset about was the fact that this meal had no wine pairing. John told me to quit bitching and gave us a bottle of coffee patron to drink straight out of the bottle as a pairing. I guess that’s how he tricks girls into liking him. “It’s sorta like a wine pairing. Just shut the hell up and drink it.” Then that’s when he busts out the condoms and glowstixx.

Anyway, after we ate, John and I played Marvel. I lost 5-4 and was forced to massage his right shoulder in gay brotherhood. Immediately after, I went into my room and cried myself to sleep.

The end.