Stuff John Sends Me

John is a Certified Movie Critic

Listen in as we take an in-depth look at John’s latest review of the parody music video, “The Pho”. His riveting commentary and understanding of the subtle nuances truly shows that his review skills are up there with Siskel and Ebert.

John: lol
John: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=756227774406682
me: hahaha
John: what did the pho say
John: its actually good
John: looks like a korean vid
John: nice colors and modern and shiet

Amazing.

“nice colors and modern and shiet.” Someone needs to put that on a t-shirt. Kineda where are you?

John Is Furious! UPDATE: MYTHBUSTED

UPDATE: Mythbusted by Fubarduck (shoutouts to ArcadeUFO in ATX).

Wow. Just wow.

From the Korea Times:

Japanese AV star with a doctorate, Anri Suzuki, 24, is having sex with Chinese students for free in Japan to apologize for her country’s invasion of China.

Suzuki won her doctors degree in history at one of the prestigious universities in her home country. Unlike other graduates, she focused on the Japanese invasion of China; writing the paper “The History of the Japanese Invasion into China.”

“We have to respect history and cannot obliterate it. I want to cure the wounds of Chinese with my body, and I am practicing this by having sex with Chinese students in Japan,” she said. “I think it is psychological compensation to them. Actually, Chinese students treat me more friendly and comfortably than Japanese.”

John’s eloquent response:

choi 7:03 pm: WTF ABOUT US??? FUCK

YEAH, WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT US???

SOURCE:
Korea Times – Free Sex for Chinese to Apologize

A Request To Our Readers

All, this is a serious matter. John deserves the same God-given rights that the rest of us have — the right to live in misery as a married couple. Please extend your courtesy upon your favorite pink-shirt wearing, gay-club-hopping, fireball-throwing Korean inferno and vote to overturn Prop 8.

Facebook vs. Street Fighter

What a Nice Combo Video

Although the idea of transitioning similar moments through various games isn’t anything new, the combination of original music, nice combos, and batshit insane rounds makes for a really great music-combo-glitch-video.

John Is Funny

So I sent John this video earlier today thinking that we would watch this and burst into LOLs and OMGs together, but somehow, John managed to muck that up.

Choi (4:17:35 PM): Oh, I’ve heard that noise somewhere…
Choi (4:17:37 PM): Oh yeah, that’s the noise girls make when they get a ride on the Choi sExpress.
Choi (4:17:43 PM): CHOO! CHOO!
me (4:17:58 PM): …

Granted, the conversation didn’t happen exactly like this, but it was close enough. I swear. Those of you that know John know he’d say something like that.

Check out part two after the break.

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Stuff That John Sends Me, Part IV

This is fucking hilarious. Especially the slow-mo-bongo replay.

MOAR SANDSTORM!!!

choi 4:04 pm
(4:04:20 PM): he is siiiiick

Okay, as someone who used to play several instruments, I can honestly tell you this guy actually has some pretty damn good skills, especially at the part where the song goes “duh duh duh duh DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH” really fast. It’s called double-tonguing, and yes, it’s something you can do to your girlfriend.

Speaking of girlfriends, if you can please convince your girlfriend to have sex with Sandstorm raging in the background this weekend, I’d greatly appreciate it. We can call it Eye of the Sandstorm weekend or something. Just do it.

choi 4:30 pm
(4:30:16 PM): imma have
(4:30:18 PM): eye of the sandstorm weekend
(4:30:20 PM): just watch

YOU GO GIRL!

John Likes to Scare Women by Chasing Them

Choi (1:40:10 PM): this only works on white girls
Choi (1:40:17 PM): messsssicans don’t get skurred
Choi (1:40:43 PM): and korean women would just fight back and beat dem brothers down

I will agree with this statement for the most part — last time I had a run-in with a Korean woman, she pushed me into a mirror and nearly severed my arm.

Moral of the story? If you’re not chasing a white girl, you’d better be ready to brawl.

Street Fighter High

John just sent this to me and I haven’t had a chance to really watch it yet since I’m getting ownd at work. Well, I did catch Cammy’s giant green ass at the beginning. Hawt.