6 solid entries, but as Optimus Prime once said, “one shall stand… one shall… fall.” (Does that even make sense here? Eff it.) First, let’s recap all of the comments:
April 29, 2010 at 9:35 pm
A friend of mine was dating this chick but was keeping her away from the rest of our friends. All we knew was she was a hot blonde, based on a nice pic she text’d him of her in a thong in the bathroom mirror (classy). So we give him enough shit that he finally brings here around…my first conversation was literally about her ex-bf who is a steroid freak who can’t get it up and who used to beat her. Umm, what? She was practically bragging about this guy beating the shit out of her. She was the most stereotypical dumb blonde ever, super high pitched voice, dumb as fucking rocks, never shut up, and thought she was the hottest thing ever. Time goes by and my friend is pretty much just using her at this point, driving her car around, having her be the DD, having her buy him meals and shit. Next thing I hear they have mutual restraining orders against each other and she has one against his sister too! Bitch is going around town telling everyone my friend is doing hardcore drugs and his teeth are falling out! So she wants to get her shit out of his apt. he says fine you can come by but don’t be dumb. Bitch brings the cops with her to make sure he stays away from her when she gets her stuff and while there points our where he keeps his weed! What a CUNT! My buddy gets arrested and kicked out of his apt. Bitch is CRAZY
Man, what a CUNT INDEED! (Man, that word sounds so dirty.) Oh well, I’m hoping your friend at least got some mighty fine ass out of it.
Fo show says:
Lols — I know you’re probably not the original creator of this vid, but if you are, I would say you’d win in a heartbeat, on accounts of stellar film direction, sound editing, and screenplay. Best line: “You want to hear me punch myself?” OF COURSE I DO, BATCH!
April 30, 2010 at 2:06 am
I was chilling at a friend’s place one night playing Need for Speed: Most Wanted on PS2 when my friend left to take another friend home. They rarely ever lock doors so when I heard one of their dogs barking I called her upstairs cause she was making too much noise. Turns out there was a random woman who waltzed through the garage door and was standing in the unlit kitchen; the dog barking made sense. My friend came back and she started asking him nonsensical questions like “Are you my friend?” and “This is my house right?” as he kept a distance in case she had a knife or something. His parents woke up and his dad grabbed her by the arm and threw her out the door. Problem solved right? She ended up staying in her car, parked outside their house, for another 15min before the cops were called. She has some crazy split-personality complex and other mental issues. She believed the area to be Graceland and claimed her key unlocked the door (when remember it was unlocked to begin with). A few days later my friend was on the roof setting up Christmas decorations when lo and behold he spotted her in her car making hand gestures for him to come over to her. The cops were called again and she hasn’t been seen again since.
Dude, that bitch sounds CRAYYYYZAYYYYYY. I mean, clearly she’s mental. I think we need a couple of more questions answered for context: Was she hot? Is she from a refugee camp? Does that mean, “she’ll get down?” We need answers! Great story though.
April 30, 2010 at 11:18 am
One day my GF beat the shit outta me because, I used E. Honda’s Headbutt too much. I had a baby bruise on my wrist that was a sign of abuse. To this day, I have yet to play that bitch in another set on SF4. Fuck that…
I’ll say this for your girlfriend. “You’re a cheap A-HOLE.” J/k, just because she doesn’t know how to throw jab fireballs and sweep you when you do butt stomp and jab headbutt isn’t your fault. Tell her she needs to man her game up NOW.
May 1, 2010 at 7:44 am
So I was having sex with my asian gf one time right, and I thought I’d make things a little more interesting. So I shouted out ‘Hadoken’ a few times as loud as I could JUST when I was about to climax and she freaking loved it so much she broke my cock off. True story.
HAHAHAHAHAH, tight. I did that once with my girlfriend. Let me just say that it’s probably not going to work out (RE: next comment.) P.S. – I like how you specifically mentioned that she was aZn. Hawt.
Roomate’s (ex) girlfriend says:
May 2, 2010 at 11:22 pm
I knew this guy that started a blog about his roommate. His male roommate. Let’s name this roommate “Gone Soy”.
Well, this guy would think about Soy all day long. It consumed his entire existence. He would look at old pics of Soy, take new pics of Soy (including his condom and glow stick collections), listen to Soy’s favorite song and work on taking videos of Soy’s possessions and add stupid little captions so he could put it up on his beloved blog (web-based Soy Shrine).
All of this while he had a girlfriend. And guess what… do you think he ever took pics of his girlfriend? Took videos of his girlfriend? Wrote posts about his girlfriend? Nope.
Want to see crazy. I’ve got crazy.
Uh… no comment. Honey… I, love? you?!? <33333 See, I have pictures of us together and happy!
SEEEEE I CARE ABOUT YOU!!!! DON’T LEEEEEAVE MEEEEEEEEEEE
Okay, we had some good times and some bad, had some laughs and shed some tears, but now, I must declare a winner. And today, I think TOBES’ comment best matches that crazy chick in the original Starcraft II video, so TOBES, you WIN!
Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org, and I’ll get you your prize.
Holla and GGs everyone!