Where the hell did this come from?

Doing some major cleaning during the holiday break, and I stumbled upon a dvd from an older pc that I previously owned – a pc probably ravaged by thousands, and thousands of mpeg-1 videos of pixelated pr0n.

The video, dated February 11, 2006 in the file information, is a Japanese special that covers a BLIND – yes – BLIND Mortal Kombat tournament player that apparently doesn’t need 20/10000000 vision to whip that ass. Those of you in the MK competitive scene probably have heard of him in recent years at EVO (unless there’s two blind MK players…) and I think he goes by the name of Rattlehead or something.

Anyway, check out this video where they fly this young fella out to play in Japan against “top Mortal Kombat Japanese players”. Keep in mind, this was 2006 and I don’t think Japanese people even know that “Americanu Pie-su of shi-tu Mortal Kombat” still existed.

Check it out – some highlights include who I think is Tokido as well as a CGI mammoth at the beginning representing Nebraska. Go fighting MAMMOTHS!

This Shit is FAAAABULOUSSSS!!!!!

Break out your Manolo Blahnics and multi-colored lip liner – Ultimate Gay Fighter has just been announced and will be fisting your anus in just a matter of time. Seriously, fuck that My Little Pony Brony Jabrony shit – this is for the REAL gay fighters out there. I can’t wait until EVO moves from Las Vegas to the Castro Theater in San Francisco California, the center of the super ultra mega gay universe. Just imagine – Ricky Ortiz will then emerge as the first ever cross-over superstar, as not only he been dominant in straight fighting games but will also dominate in the gay ones, too. He is the chosen one and will bring our worlds together!

Okay, enough of this nonsensical talk. Who’s getting this? Because you know I AM!

John Loves the Holidays

Like, really, really fucking loves the holidays.

John is a Certified Movie Critic

Listen in as we take an in-depth look at John’s latest review of the parody music video, “The Pho”. His riveting commentary and understanding of the subtle nuances truly shows that his review skills are up there with Siskel and Ebert.

John: lol
John: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=756227774406682
me: hahaha
John: what did the pho say
John: its actually good
John: looks like a korean vid
John: nice colors and modern and shiet


“nice colors and modern and shiet.” Someone needs to put that on a t-shirt. Kineda where are you?

John thinks he’s a mixologist


Quick post. John and I are enjoying some spirits at his place before we go eat korean bbq.

Facts: did you know that john works at campari, maker of fine spirits such as skyy vodka, wild turkey and rohypnol. All he does is talk about low forward footsies and how he’s the greatest champ since Al Bundy playing high school football.

These wild turkey bottles are custom mixed with some bourbon and some other shit. He says 3 different types of berries, simple syrup, lemon and “some other bullshit”.

He’s making us pound it…andohshitkm grttmng ddrunkkkk


Introducing… THE BOX

There was a problem.

The Choi Family house had a big problem. You see, John’s mom needed someone to move their old bootleg ass 42″ plasma tv (funny note… it was the TV I sold him) out of the house so we could install their newly upgraded SAMSUNG (of course – Korea FIGHTING!) LCD.

John calls me up, we hop in the “Prudence” the Prius (another story for another time) and head to south San Jose to handle biz.

Moving the TV goes without a hitch, except for the usual yelling that John and I do at each other. But once we were leaving the house through the garage, I asked him about this box of old VHS tapes he had lying around.


“Oh, it’s just a bunch of old SF tapes and stuff. I don’t think anyone gives a shit about that stuff anymore,” said the Korean Inferno.

“What?!?!? Are you kidding me? This stuff is gold? Can I take it with me to archive? MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WILL WATCH IT!” I said.

And without his permission, I just stole the box. Granted, I probably hyped it up a bit, but there’s a lot of cool stuff that I don’t think has hit the web yet, and I figured I could make a small project out of it and share it with all you guys. Sound boring? Well, go fuck yourself.

Looking in the contents of the box, there’s a lot of goodies – like player cards from Texas Showdown 5 (I was there!), some old GamePro magazines, lots of old school Street Fighter match videos – Japanese and American alike, and I think a couple of softcore Korean pr0ns. You KNOW I will be viewing those.

To kick things off, I’ve uploaded a few matches from this japanese CD-R Disc that contains a shit ton of Japanese arcade CVS2 matches from 2005. It’s awesome to see high level Street Fighter players get their hands on a game that hasn’t fully developed at the time. Case in point – some motherfucker was ACTUALLY using P-groove. (If you don’t play CVS2, here’s a protip: NOBODY uses fucking P-groove, except for that dude Steve H or whatever his name was…)


On to the matches:

Notice something? Yeah, there’s a special video in the middle – just seeing if you guys are paying attention. I looked up “CVS2” in Pornhub and that was the first video that came up. Apparently Latina chix love that A-groove hurr hurr hurrrr. BTW, there’s more where that came from. (EDIT: I took it out because 1. I’m a pussy, and 2. I was dumb enough to load the page while at work, and now my IT administrator knows I watch porn at work. 🙁 )

True or False: John Choi can Slam a Huge Beer Bong

The answer is true, and don’t you DARE challenge his drinking abilities again. (JK, he sux.) Even though he’s been caught red-handed pouring shots out on the pavement to avoid drinking and getting redizzied, we have footage from EVO 2007 where I brought the infamous “Tenderizer”.

Lifted from IRC:

[15:48] <@Abby_> Where’s the tenderizer?
[15:49] <@shytzoo-> DJ doo doo hands is up in here
[15:49] <@Roommate> dude
[15:49] <@Roommate> i don’t even know
[15:49] <@Roommate> there were 3 editions
[15:49] <@Roommate> of the tenderizer
[15:49] <@ROM> the tenderizer
[15:49] <@Roommate> original, champion edition, and turbo
[15:49] <@ROM> is that the thing that nearly killed bas
[15:50] <@ROM> I die now?
[15:50] <@albert_c> isn’t there a youtube video?
[15:50] <@albert_c> i wanna see that shit
[15:50] <@Roommate> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgxXlj4gwMQ
[15:50] <@albert_c> someone link it
[15:50] <@Roommate> lol
[15:50] <@Roommate> dude
[15:50] <@Roommate> that shit was like over 6 years ago
[15:50] <@Roommate> fuuuck
[15:50] <@Roommate> the best part of that video
[15:50] <@Roommate> is like it feels like a homosexual nerdy version of girls gone wild
[15:50] <@Roommate> without any chicks
[15:51] <@Roommate> just a bunch of dudes with video cameras
[15:51] <@Roommate> watching another dude suck down beer
[15:51] <@Ramin> while being on their knees
[15:51] <@Ramin> that is evo in a nutshell
[15:52] <@Roommate> hahahahahah
[15:52] <@Roommate> for real
[15:52] <@kerni_the> nerds gone wild
[15:52] <@ChoiBoy> damn
[15:52] <@ChoiBoy> memories
[15:52] <@Roommate> mamories
[15:52] <@albert_c> sick video
[15:53] <@ChoiBoy> tenderized

News Flash: Street Fighter 3: 3rd Strike Has 3 Revisions

Non-dumped 3rd Strike ISO 990419

Warning: Semi-serious post ahead.

Did you know that there are actually THREE revisions of Street Fighter 3: 3rd Strike? I’m talking about the arcade version, not any of that other nonsense.

Most people believe that there is an “A” version and a “B” version, with A being the standard and B being the red-headed, piece of shit stepchild that it is. The biggest difference that I know are:
1. “A” version has unblockables. This is particularly important with Urien as it’s huge in his Aegis Reflector game plan. “B” version has unblockables “fixed”. A is preferred since it is deemed more balanced with Urien’s unblockable tools.
2. “A” version also has more glitches than “B”. In particular, weird things will happen (like the game exploding) when Ken neutral throws Makoto to end a match, among other things. I don’t know all of the glitches, but I believe more glitches exist in “A” than “B”.

Those are the main differences that I know of.

Capcom usually IDs their game revisions with a date stamp in the form of a six-digit number, usually shown on bootup of the game. The two dumped revisions that are known and published in the MAME library are 990512 (what is known as “A”) and 990608 (what is known as “B”). However, my 3rd Strike kit that I bought while in Japan last year booted up with…

You guessed it, 990419. My guess is that 990419 and 990512 are similar with Urien unblockables, but there are a few bug fixes in the revision. Both of these I’m thinking qualify as “A” revisions in this case. However the second I did neutral grab to kill Makoto with Ken, the game crashed – something I speculate that is fixed in the later “A” 990512. I’ll test it when I write the other version.

Enough nerding out for the day. Here’s a VERY old 3rd Strike matchup between America’s perennial Ryu players – Alex Valle and John Choi. From B4. From the year 2000. A long time ago.

Shoutouts to Psychorarity for the upload!

Reference Material: Alpha 3 vs Zero 3, CvS2

So, one of the arcade boards I managed to get my grubby hands on was Street Fighter Zero 3 (Japanese), thanks to my then-international connection Mike Jones. Unfortunately, the game somehow suicided itself despite having a changed battery, so I was off to reprogramming the chips and fixing the game. Thinking about it, I wondered which version of the game I should resurrect it to Alpha 3, or Zero 3.

Debating to myself, I figured I’d write the first five things that come to mind to help guide my decision.



Zero 3: uh… bukkake? Sushi is good. Anime is whatever. And who the fuck came up with Bukkake anyways? I wonder what happens when you Google “bukkake”. (WARNING: DO NOT GOOGLE BUKKAKE unless you want to see some AWESOME shit.) See, I even hyperlinked it for you. I’m fucking nice.

Needless to say, it was a waste of time to discuss with myself, so I consulted a so-called expert.

Roommate: yo
Roommate: for alpha 3/zero 3, what’s the preferred version? Aren’t they different
John Choi: doesn’t matter
John Choi: there is minor difference but nothing major
Roommate: what’s the difference
Roommate: i know alpha 2 and zero 2 are hella different (alpha 2 = zero 2 alpha)
John Choi: boxer’s alpha counter is better in alpha
John Choi: you can teleport through opponent easier on one side
Roommate: oh, i thought there was like an actual system difference
John Choi: Lism is slightly different
John Choi: no
John Choi: zero 2 and alpha 2 isn’t that different either in system
John Choi: alpha has e. ryu
John Choi: that is main thing
John Choi: like japan ST and US ST
John Choi: are slightly different
John Choi: but none of the versions were so different that players prefer one over another

Well, there you have it. I guess they’re not that different at all – just some minor differences. Why do I believe him? Well, with 90% of the shit he says, I typically don’t believe it, but according to Kurropi.com, placed top 5 in like over 10 tournaments, winning most of them. Cocky bastard.

BONUS ROUND: John also added some interesting information about CVS2 in our conversation.

John Choi: cvs2 also
John Choi: jpn cvs2 you can charge super meter after round ends
John Choi: US version you can’t
Roommate: oh wtf
Roommate: that’s crazy
John Choi: so after you ko a char
John Choi: you see peeps doing like low strong 3 times
John Choi: u can’t do special moves
Roommate: ohhh
John Choi: during ko sequence
John Choi: so u do like 3 low strongs
John Choi: best thing u can do
Roommate: hahahahahah
John Choi: and u get like
John Choi: a sliver of meter
Roommate: it helps
John Choi: if u watch evo dvds
John Choi: u see peeps do it all the time
John Choi: anywayz
John Choi: all the SFs
John Choi: very slight difference
John Choi: from jpn to US


Roommate: did you watch gravity [c-c-c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker!!!!! that’s what you call a gdlk subject change]
John Choi: no

So there you have it. Not too much is different in each international version, or at least people didn’t give enough of a shit to care back then. Also if you punch the air randomly in the japanese version of cvs2 after a round is over, you can get a pube-hair’s worth of meter extra.

Video at the top: SFA3- (B5 DVD) Chikyuu (Sodom) vs John Choi (Sakura) – uploaded by TSDCS

Paging Dr. Choi

John always has great suggestions. ALWAYS.

[09:28] <@ChoiBoy> sick Roommate
[09:28] <@ChoiBoy> how u feeling
[09:28] shitty
[09:28] still
[09:28] <@ChoiBoy> u in office?
[09:28] up all night coughing like a little bitch
[09:28] <@ChoiBoy> im still at home
[09:28] yeah of course
[09:28] <@ChoiBoy> take delsium
[09:28] whenever you tell me that, i feel like you’re telling me to go to a club
[09:29] DELSIUM
[09:29] <@ChoiBoy> best cough medicine
[09:29] <@ChoiBoy> and
[09:29] <@ChoiBoy> it makes u feel really high
[09:29] <@ChoiBoy> the main ingredient in there is
[09:29] <@ChoiBoy> DMT
[09:29] <@ChoiBoy> that dream drug shit
[09:29] <@ChoiBoy> i read online that nigs OD on delsium
[09:29] <@ChoiBoy> by drinking whole bottle
[09:29] <@ChoiBoy> then throwing up
[09:29] <@ChoiBoy> then get super high
[09:33] <@ChoiBoy> http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090221114658AAWUCd6
[09:34] <@ChoiBoy> some potent ass shit
[09:34] … thank you for the protip.

a few minutes later…

[09:37] <@ChoiBoy> lets pop some bottles this weekend
[09:37] <@ChoiBoy> dxm lets go
it’s spelled delsym
[09:46] <@ChoiBoy> whatever
[09:46] <@ChoiBoy> lets make love up in the delsym

First of all, after doing some in-depth research (30 seconds of Google), I found out it’s actually called “Delsym” and not “Delsium”. Google 1, Choi 0.

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